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My Grand Theft Auto Life
The most embarrassing thing about NYC is the constant reminder of how many hours I sunk into Grand Theft Auto 4. For those that don’t know, the setting of Grand Theft Auto 4 is Liberty City, which is...
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We Don’t Need Another Harry Potter Video Game (And Other Tales)
My newest Cracked.com column is about entertainment mash ups that no longer need to exist. Video games based on Harry Potter always turn into box moving simulators, and mixing country music and rap...
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Episode 2 of Dungeon Dynamite Is Here
I do the voice of the MATH WIZARD in my friend Crazy Boris’ animated series DUNGEON DYNAMITE. Episode 2 was released the other day, so give it a watch. It’s the best. And if you haven’t seen episode 1,...
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You Have To Be An Adult To Appreciate Bulbasaur
Bulbasaur isn’t cool. He doesn’t have the cocky aloofness of Squirtle or the literally-on-fire of Charmander. He isn’t a risk taker. Picking Bulbasaur allows you to barrel through the first two gyms...
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Ivysaur Looked Better As A Mistake
We usually see evolution as the process of things learning to stand. Fish, which have a hell of a time walking, become amphibians and reptiles, which scrape across the ground. These evolve into...
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Venusaur Wins The Participation Trophy
There’s a popular Tumblr post from a few years back that shows images of Charizard, Blastoise and Venusaur from the first opening of the anime. Charizard is shooting fire at nothing in particular, and...
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Charmander, The TRUE Mascot of Pokemon
Pikachu is the Pokemon ambassador to the world. It’s cuddly, bright, and has enough human-like qualities to let you know that it’s more than a simple pet or animal. On the other hand, it also has...
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Help Me, Charmeleon. You’re My Only Hope
The year is 1998, and I am not very good at video games. I have just entered Rock Tunnel in Pokemon Red, with a Charmeleon named Fzzzzz and a few under-leveled monsters. I named him “Fzzzzz” because...
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WWE Smackdown! Here Comes The Pain Has The Worst Trailer Ever
Time does weird things to pop culture. Something that wasn’t popular when it was released can look like a masterpiece a decade later. And something that made a billion dollars five years ago can force...
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